I have worked a whole year and focused on one goal... To make it back to the CrossFit Games Central Regional. It takes a ton of work to even flirt on the line of making Regionals. Each and every athlete has their own unique journey and this just happens to be mine.
My first hurdle I have to work around is working full time as a physical therapist. Now don't get me wrong, I love what I do and working with people, but that also means I spend 40 plus hours a week away from the gym and completed focused on something else. In a way it is good, but it also means I have to focus on outside goals of just making it to Regionals.
Because of work, that means I only get to workout once a day. Two sessions a day is just not physically possible unless I cut out sleep, which I already don't get enough, and any semblance of normalcy. This means that my training sessions have to be focused. I come into the gym with a plan and I get it accomplished within an hour and a half to two hours (ok sometimes maybe two and a half hours). I write what it is I am going to accomplish on the board and I get after it. Sometimes with other people, sometimes suffering in silence by myself because of the odd times I am there.
Most days I am gone from home for over 12 hours which means that everything is packed and meticulously thought out the night before. Work clothes, workout clothes, shower stuff (if needed) are set out so I can quickly hop from one thing to the next. And if something is forgotten, don't worry, I keep spares in my trunk. I prepare lunches and some dinners on Sunday for the week to help me stay on top of my nutrition because otherwise it is easy to eat out and quickly get off track. If I am going to be working out this hard, I better fuel my body correctly because otherwise what is the point.
The weekends are sometimes the hardest thing for me to control. Between trying to catch up on sleep for the week, attempting to catch up on laundry (I have a lot), cleaning, and performing other adulthood responsibilities sometimes it feels more hectic than a weekday. Then when you add in trying to hang out with friends and be a normal human being, it is hard. And trust me, I know everyone goes through this one way or another because such is life, but goodness sometimes I wish I didn't have responsibilities.
Then when friends want to go out, I want to join, but I know I have to control what I do. Usually that means leaving early and only nursing a drink or two because the following morning I have to get into the gym and get work done. Thankfully most of my friends get it and understand the work that I put in, but it is hard to demonstrate self control all the time. However, my goals sit in the back of my mind and I want to accomplish them, doing what ever it takes.
When I go home, I sacrifice some time with my family because Saturday mornings are a big workout morning for me. It is the day I usually spend three hours in the gym because I have the time. That is usually cut short when I am in Peoria, but still I am usually at the gym. Thankfully my family understands and will do whatever it takes to help me achieve my goals, but they suffer a bit in the process too and have to work around my schedule as well.
It takes a team, a lot of planning, and a lot of hard work to potentially be a Regional athlete. But looking back on the year I have had, I wouldn't change anything about it. I have gotten to travel to different places just to compete and I have met a lot of really cool people because of it. I have a gym with amazing individuals who inspire me daily to keep training my butt off, because they usually have more responsibilities than me and are still crushing it. I have two great sponsors in MidWestern Build and Eggology pushing me toward success. I have coaches and training partners who truly want to see me succeed and put a lot of effort into my goals as well. It makes my heart full to see the love and passion they have in achieving this goal as well. And I have again been reminded of the amazing family I have that has truly supported every goal I have ever had and made me believe that anything is possible.
So while attempting to achieve the goal of being a Regional athlete in 2017, I have had the opportunity to sit back and realize that no matter what the situation turns out being, I am truly blessed. But with that being said, I have two more weeks to show everyone what I am made of and then hopefully see my goal achieved.
Cheers to the 2017 CrossFit Games Season.
Friday, March 17, 2017
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Road to Regionals 2016
Wow.
I can't believe I get to write this post. About two weeks ago I got an invite to the CrossFit Games Central Regional as an individual competitor! To say I am excited about this would be an absolute under statement, I am ecstatic.
This accomplishment was a lofty goal that I had set for myself last year. And truth be told, I really did not believe I would be able to achieve it. But I made it anyways and always knew in the back of my head I would have a Regionals team to fall back on.
However, about 6 months ago, some life choices I made led me to reluctantly change gyms and no longer was team an option for me. It was qualify to CrossFit Regionals as an individual or go as a spectator. I didn't really think I could make it individually and for about a month I had resigned to just being a CrossFitter for fun. I had qualified for Wodapalooza in January and I told everyone that was my Regionals, I was going to leave it all out on the floor and take in that big competition like I would Regionals. I really didn't have hope that I could do anything in the CrossFit world. Too many big girls that workout full time and focus all their time and energy toward that.
Fast forward to the Wodapalooza in January, I was competing in the RX division, and although it wasn't the Elite division with all the amazing athletes, there were numerous CrossFit Regional Individual competitors in my division. My main goal was to have fun there and in doing that, I surprised the heck out of myself! After the first day I was sitting in 4th, after the second day I was in 2nd, and after a heavy third day, I ended up finishing 9th overall. My goal was to finish in the top half of the 70-80 girls in my division and I way exceeded that. I ended up beating a lot of regional athletes and this was the first time I let myself believe that I had the capability to potentially qualify for Regionals.
A few other moments over the next month showed me that I had the capabilities and one night in late February, I told my coach that I was going to make Regionals. I think he had been waiting for me to say those words for the past 6-8 months, and although long awaited, I finally had enough confidence in myself to believe them.
The open was a long and crazy road for me. Waiting every week on Thursday for the workouts to be released is nerve wrecking and then slowly watching the leaderboard on Monday and waiting for everyone else's scores to come in is miserable. I redid every workout this year except for fourth one. I had to make sure I put everything I had into every workout because I could leave no doubts. If I wasn't going to make Regionals, I had to know that I did absolutely everything I could to get there.
Initially, I thought my fifth and final workout score was going to be enough. This was the one repeat workout, and if you compared it to two years ago, my first time was amazing. But watching the scores come in on Monday, I knew I had to give it one more go. I am so thankful for my Heavy Metal CrossFit family who helped me pace it out (and actually slow down in the beginning) and then bring it home in the end. At the end of the day, I was sitting in 22nd place in the North Central Region and I had a good feeling I would be making Regionals!
And then two weeks ago, I got my official invite and so, so happily accepted it! I get to compete in Columbus, Ohio May 26-28th against 39 other girls who were the top in the North Central and Central East region. I cannot wait. While I know I put a lot of effort into making Regionals, I would not have been able to do it without a crazy amount of people surrounding me. First off my family, they have always supported me in whatever I do and I could not be more blessed to have them by my side. Secondly, I have to thank my old gym. They initially helped me fall in love with CrossFit and pushed me many days to be better. But even through I hesitant to leave my gym initially, making the switch to The Lab and Heavy Metal CrossFit was possibly the best thing that could have happened to me.
I gained an Olympic lifting coach in Justin Thacker who has helped my improve my lifts significantly. Not only have my maxes gone up in every lift, but I have become so consistent with every lift. I can walk up to a heavier barbell and have the confidence to hit the lift. My lifts are not quite as big as some of the top athletes, but I can lift enough now to be competitive with the big girls.
I also have been blessed with Matt who has been programming all my CrossFit workouts to allow me to work on my weaknesses but also excel when needed. We set up a schedule that has allowed me to work on my lifting, gymnastics skills, and engine successfully around my work days that has really seemed to be working. Matt has also been the one who has dealt with all of my highs and lows. When I had a bad day he heard about it or when something was hurting, he changed the programming to keep my going. He has been great to have along my side.
Switching gyms also allowed me to meet new people, find new training partners, and allowed me to laugh at myself a lot more. I do CrossFit for fun and I think I had lost some of that sometime in the last year. With the switch, I found myself laughing when I did stupid things and not getting upset and just overall enjoying the process a lot more. Granted the Open was stressful, but I made it in one piece and honestly had some fun along the way.
Lastly, I have to thank my friend Amanda who kept me calm throughout the Open. She helped me create a strategy on every workout and gave me the confidence I could do what was needed to be successful. Her belief in me and pep talks along the way fueled me during the open and kept me positive the whole time. I cannot thank her enough.
Here is to a few more weeks of hard training and then competing at the CrossFit Games Central Regional! I cannot wait!
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Struggle #27: The Pain Face
So there is this face I get while working out... Sometimes it is in the middle of the workout, when I am absolutely dying, and sometimes it comes out before a workout begins. When the "pain face" comes out before a workout begins, that is never good for me.
These past few months, I have really been trying to change my mental attitude in the gym. Instead of having a "I don't know if I can do this" attitude, I am trying to have an "I can do this" attitude. Overall, it has been going well, but I still struggle with it at times. It is hard to always have confidence in yourself (probably a reoccurring theme in my blog), but I definitely know that when I do have confidence in myself, it makes everything much easier.
As a physical therapist, I have learned that confidence is key. When discussing with a patient what I think is wrong with them on the first day, it is huge if I tell them in a confident manner. Even if I am not 100% confident about what's going on, if I give an answer with confidence and a plan on how to meet their goals, it creates a trusting bond with my patient. Trust is something that is hard to create but with confidence in me, their physical therapist, and my plan it helps create that bond. This is something that I have realized plays over into the CrossFit world for me.
If I TRUST in my abilities than I CAN do whatever I put my mind to.
Confidence.
Recently I have been putting more faith in my abilities. I have seen it pay off dividends and really help me excel in workouts. Instead of worrying about where everyone else is during a workout, I worry about what I am doing. How I need to break up the work, not how everyone else is doing it. I put my blinders on and do what I need to do in order to get the job done.
Yesterday, I felt myself take a step backwards. We were doing "Graren," Grace (which is 30 clean and jerks) and Karen (which is 150 wall balls), and I had already told myself I couldn't do it before we started. (Side note: I don't like wall balls, they used to hurt my knee and that many of them is just a daunting number for me). About a minute before the workout started, I felt my pain face come out... Uh O. Not good. I was already worked up and I hadn't even touched the bar yet.
I made myself run to the bathroom and collect my thoughts. I told myself that I can do this and to stop worrying about everything else. I walked out of the bathroom with the resolve that I was going to finish this workout no matter how long it took. Surprisingly, the workout wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be... Now don't get me wrong, it still sucked, but I was able to complete it in a timely manner and walk away proud that I mentally pushed through the workout as much as I did physically. I had trust in my abilities and it gave me the confidence to complete the workout.
I am especially going to need this resolve when I travel to Miami for the Wodapalooza competition. I have qualified as a RX individual and I will be competing against some great athletes. I am very excited for this opportunity, but I am also terrified. I know I will be pushed outside of my comfort zone in just about every workout and that I will have to find my inner confidence to do my absolute best. There will be a lot of people there and a lot of great athletes. Talk about overwhelming!
This past fall, I have put myself in multiple situations that I hope have helped prepare me for this bigger stage. I have competed in a few individual CrossFit competitions, a few team competitions, and a few olympic weightlifting competitions. I feel the weightlifting competitions will really help me out because it is only you and the barbell out there, with lots of people in the audience. I have had to find my confidence that I can pick up that barbell and complete my lift. Although they don't incorporate all the other CrossFit elements, they have taught me to trust in my abilities and have confidence.
Confidence is something that is difficult for me. I have definitely begun to have more confidence in my abilities but at times, it's hard to trust in myself. Slowly but surely I am getting there, but it takes time. I just keep telling myself to trust in my abilities and to leave the pain face at the door.
These past few months, I have really been trying to change my mental attitude in the gym. Instead of having a "I don't know if I can do this" attitude, I am trying to have an "I can do this" attitude. Overall, it has been going well, but I still struggle with it at times. It is hard to always have confidence in yourself (probably a reoccurring theme in my blog), but I definitely know that when I do have confidence in myself, it makes everything much easier.
As a physical therapist, I have learned that confidence is key. When discussing with a patient what I think is wrong with them on the first day, it is huge if I tell them in a confident manner. Even if I am not 100% confident about what's going on, if I give an answer with confidence and a plan on how to meet their goals, it creates a trusting bond with my patient. Trust is something that is hard to create but with confidence in me, their physical therapist, and my plan it helps create that bond. This is something that I have realized plays over into the CrossFit world for me.
If I TRUST in my abilities than I CAN do whatever I put my mind to.
Confidence.
Recently I have been putting more faith in my abilities. I have seen it pay off dividends and really help me excel in workouts. Instead of worrying about where everyone else is during a workout, I worry about what I am doing. How I need to break up the work, not how everyone else is doing it. I put my blinders on and do what I need to do in order to get the job done.
Yesterday, I felt myself take a step backwards. We were doing "Graren," Grace (which is 30 clean and jerks) and Karen (which is 150 wall balls), and I had already told myself I couldn't do it before we started. (Side note: I don't like wall balls, they used to hurt my knee and that many of them is just a daunting number for me). About a minute before the workout started, I felt my pain face come out... Uh O. Not good. I was already worked up and I hadn't even touched the bar yet.
I made myself run to the bathroom and collect my thoughts. I told myself that I can do this and to stop worrying about everything else. I walked out of the bathroom with the resolve that I was going to finish this workout no matter how long it took. Surprisingly, the workout wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be... Now don't get me wrong, it still sucked, but I was able to complete it in a timely manner and walk away proud that I mentally pushed through the workout as much as I did physically. I had trust in my abilities and it gave me the confidence to complete the workout.
I am especially going to need this resolve when I travel to Miami for the Wodapalooza competition. I have qualified as a RX individual and I will be competing against some great athletes. I am very excited for this opportunity, but I am also terrified. I know I will be pushed outside of my comfort zone in just about every workout and that I will have to find my inner confidence to do my absolute best. There will be a lot of people there and a lot of great athletes. Talk about overwhelming!
This past fall, I have put myself in multiple situations that I hope have helped prepare me for this bigger stage. I have competed in a few individual CrossFit competitions, a few team competitions, and a few olympic weightlifting competitions. I feel the weightlifting competitions will really help me out because it is only you and the barbell out there, with lots of people in the audience. I have had to find my confidence that I can pick up that barbell and complete my lift. Although they don't incorporate all the other CrossFit elements, they have taught me to trust in my abilities and have confidence.
Confidence is something that is difficult for me. I have definitely begun to have more confidence in my abilities but at times, it's hard to trust in myself. Slowly but surely I am getting there, but it takes time. I just keep telling myself to trust in my abilities and to leave the pain face at the door.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Struggle #26: Comparing Myself to Others
"Let whatever you do today be enough. Let go of the judgement you have about what you should be or could be doing, and today, allow yourself to simply be. Comparing yourself and your journey may be habitual, but it gets you no where. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. So stop fixating on where everyone else is, and start giving yourself permission to be exactly who you are..."
I came upon this quote today and it really resonated with me (More of the quote to follow). I find myself often times comparing myself to others. The comparison goes beyond just the gym to me at work as well, but the focus of this post is my comparison of myself to others in the gym: thinking I am not strong enough, that my gymnastics are lacking, or that I should be doing more.
It is easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and to forget exactly what you are doing. I am sure there are a few people in my gym will think I am crazy saying this, but I am constantly trying to keep up with someone. Each person in my gym has their strengths, wether it be lifting, gymnastics, engine, or something else, and I feel like I don't shine in any of those.
Overall I am average at all of them and sometimes I find myself psyching myself out before we even start something. This is definitely a weakness and something I have been working hard on. I used to total psych myself out mentally before a workout. Thinking of how everyone else was going to do during it and how I was going to fail at it. I have started getting better at focusing on myself and trying to figure out where I can excel and figuring out how I am going to work through the really tough parts for myself.
In all honesty, it shouldn't matter how I do in comparison to anyone else. I do CrossFit for myself and for the joy I get out of it. I have enough things to worry about in life and if I constantly compare myself to others it just makes me go batty. So, I have been trying to take a step backwards and just do my best consistently. Figuring out how I can excel with the strengths God has given me and work upon those.
I have been working on this for the past few months and feel like it is starting to pay off. I competed at an individual competition recently, The Beast of the Metro East, and placed first in the RX girls! Overall, I kept a very level head, except for one workout and had a blast competing. I noticed when I didn't worry about others and focused on my strategy for how I was going to excel I did great and had fun. I am trying to continue carrying this attitude forward, in all aspects of life, because it keeps me in my happy place. If I keep worrying about what I can control, myself, and stop worrying about what others are doing, I will be in a good place. So here is to a healthy focus on myself and a decreased comparison of myself to others.
----The end of the quote above---
"Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that's all you can ask of yourself. It's enough. You are enough." - Daniell Koepke
I came upon this quote today and it really resonated with me (More of the quote to follow). I find myself often times comparing myself to others. The comparison goes beyond just the gym to me at work as well, but the focus of this post is my comparison of myself to others in the gym: thinking I am not strong enough, that my gymnastics are lacking, or that I should be doing more.
It is easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and to forget exactly what you are doing. I am sure there are a few people in my gym will think I am crazy saying this, but I am constantly trying to keep up with someone. Each person in my gym has their strengths, wether it be lifting, gymnastics, engine, or something else, and I feel like I don't shine in any of those.
Overall I am average at all of them and sometimes I find myself psyching myself out before we even start something. This is definitely a weakness and something I have been working hard on. I used to total psych myself out mentally before a workout. Thinking of how everyone else was going to do during it and how I was going to fail at it. I have started getting better at focusing on myself and trying to figure out where I can excel and figuring out how I am going to work through the really tough parts for myself.
In all honesty, it shouldn't matter how I do in comparison to anyone else. I do CrossFit for myself and for the joy I get out of it. I have enough things to worry about in life and if I constantly compare myself to others it just makes me go batty. So, I have been trying to take a step backwards and just do my best consistently. Figuring out how I can excel with the strengths God has given me and work upon those.
I have been working on this for the past few months and feel like it is starting to pay off. I competed at an individual competition recently, The Beast of the Metro East, and placed first in the RX girls! Overall, I kept a very level head, except for one workout and had a blast competing. I noticed when I didn't worry about others and focused on my strategy for how I was going to excel I did great and had fun. I am trying to continue carrying this attitude forward, in all aspects of life, because it keeps me in my happy place. If I keep worrying about what I can control, myself, and stop worrying about what others are doing, I will be in a good place. So here is to a healthy focus on myself and a decreased comparison of myself to others.
----The end of the quote above---
"Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that's all you can ask of yourself. It's enough. You are enough." - Daniell Koepke
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Writer's Block
So I have been sitting here for awhile trying to decide what to post on and I am really drawing a blank. I feel like I have touched on a lot of things that I am still kind of facing as a struggle and I am not sure I have found a glaring strength to write about yet. So instead of one specific topic, I will just kind of write about the recent few weeks.
The biggest thing in my CrossFit life is that I competed with my awesome teammates at the Heart of America Competition last weekend! We ended up placing 6th overall, which is the best we have ever done, and I had a blast. The workouts were very individually focused and there was a big placement on max lifts, which aren't necessarily are strength, but overall we did pretty well. I think as a team the girls worked great. For the most part we were able to compliment each other's strengths and weaknesses and that helped us excel. I honestly didn't get to work with any of the guys once, so I am not sure how they really worked together haha.
I feel I preformed really well given the tasks I was put up to. I was 5# under my max snatch, cycled a 125# barbell for shoulders to overhead really well, rowed crazy fast out of my mind, ran with a 70# sandbag for 400 meters, performed some GHD sit-ups crazy fast, and did come lovely chicken wing muscle ups after being exhausted from a 300 meter row sprint. My team overall also put up great performances, we were consistent throughout the weekend and showed we can compete with anyone really.
The weekend made me excited for what's in our future. I am not sure if we will be a regionals team yet, but if we choose to push for a team, I know we will be able to put a great team together. We have the tools and some great individuals, but we have to come together as a team to actually make it work. Either way, these next few months will be exciting!
Outside of CrossFit, I have really started to settle into my job and enjoy it most days. Some days just get crazy hectic, but overall it has been a really great experience. I feel very lucky that I truly enjoy my job and that most days fly by. My patient's are really what make my job for the most part, being able to play a role in getting them back to normal is really something that makes me smile. Discharging my first few patients, that I also evaluated, is a cool experience because it was really all me playing a role in getting them better.
I feel like I am slowly starting to get into a routine with work and working out, but some days are still just crazy. If I have to work from 6 am to 5 pm and try to fit a workout in during the evening, it is just tough. After a long day of being on my feet and making sure I am taking care of everyone the best I can, it is hard to get motivated to get to the gym and give it the rest of my strength.
I recently read a blog post by Stacey Tovar, a huge CrossFit athlete, about if you want to be a big sponsored CrossFit athlete, you probably have to quit your day job. And after my first three months of working, I can see her point. I don't think it is impossible, but if you truly want to succeed in this sport at your highest potential, you have to make CrossFit your job. You could have a full time job on top of it, but outside of work and working out, you won't be doing much.
I am currently kind of in this situation of I could possibly be a lot more, but I could also achieve my full potential while working full time as well. I want to see what I can accomplish, but I also have to keep my expectations reasonable. I know that I will only be able to exercise at this caliber for so long, there are injuries, family, and a bunch of other things that pop up in the way. So while I try to find what my potential is in the CrossFit community and work full time, I have come to the conclusion that as long as I am enjoying what I am doing that is good enough for me. I know at this point in my young adult life career that I have worked too hard to get where I am and I don't want to give it up, so I just need to find a happy balance of PT and CrossFit and all will be good.
Probably the most exciting thing that has happened the past few weeks was seeing Taylor Swift in St. Louis. She was absolutely amazing and if the tickets didn't cost so much money, I would have seen her both nights, no questions asked. If you have the opportunity to see her, go. It will be worth it.
 |
| My awesome teammates. CrossFit St. Louis Black above. A good number of CrossFit St. Louis competitors below.  |
I feel I preformed really well given the tasks I was put up to. I was 5# under my max snatch, cycled a 125# barbell for shoulders to overhead really well, rowed crazy fast out of my mind, ran with a 70# sandbag for 400 meters, performed some GHD sit-ups crazy fast, and did come lovely chicken wing muscle ups after being exhausted from a 300 meter row sprint. My team overall also put up great performances, we were consistent throughout the weekend and showed we can compete with anyone really.
The weekend made me excited for what's in our future. I am not sure if we will be a regionals team yet, but if we choose to push for a team, I know we will be able to put a great team together. We have the tools and some great individuals, but we have to come together as a team to actually make it work. Either way, these next few months will be exciting!
Outside of CrossFit, I have really started to settle into my job and enjoy it most days. Some days just get crazy hectic, but overall it has been a really great experience. I feel very lucky that I truly enjoy my job and that most days fly by. My patient's are really what make my job for the most part, being able to play a role in getting them back to normal is really something that makes me smile. Discharging my first few patients, that I also evaluated, is a cool experience because it was really all me playing a role in getting them better.
I feel like I am slowly starting to get into a routine with work and working out, but some days are still just crazy. If I have to work from 6 am to 5 pm and try to fit a workout in during the evening, it is just tough. After a long day of being on my feet and making sure I am taking care of everyone the best I can, it is hard to get motivated to get to the gym and give it the rest of my strength.
 |
| How awesome are these shirts? |
I am currently kind of in this situation of I could possibly be a lot more, but I could also achieve my full potential while working full time as well. I want to see what I can accomplish, but I also have to keep my expectations reasonable. I know that I will only be able to exercise at this caliber for so long, there are injuries, family, and a bunch of other things that pop up in the way. So while I try to find what my potential is in the CrossFit community and work full time, I have come to the conclusion that as long as I am enjoying what I am doing that is good enough for me. I know at this point in my young adult life career that I have worked too hard to get where I am and I don't want to give it up, so I just need to find a happy balance of PT and CrossFit and all will be good.
Probably the most exciting thing that has happened the past few weeks was seeing Taylor Swift in St. Louis. She was absolutely amazing and if the tickets didn't cost so much money, I would have seen her both nights, no questions asked. If you have the opportunity to see her, go. It will be worth it.Sunday, September 13, 2015
Struggle #26: PR's
I am going to go out on a limb and say that almost every CrossFitter walks into the gym wanting to hit a PR (personal record or heaviest weight lifted) everyday. I am no exception. I love hitting PRs and when it is max out day, you better believe that I want to hit a PR lift. I am a competitive individual and PR'ing my lifts is one way I can see how I am getting better.This past week, our programming included max lifts in just about every lift we do and a prime opportunity to hit PRs in my lifts. We have been doing a lot of strength volume recently so I was really excited to see where I was in my lifting endeavors. I was lucky enough to tie or get a new PR in every lift, but of course I was left wanting a little bit more on some days.
I take my want for more as both stupid and beneficial. On one hand, it is stupid, because tying or hitting PRs, when we aren't really supposed to be is huge. So me being slightly upset seems silly. But on the other hand, it is beneficial because it leaves me hungry for more. I have these over-arching goals that keep me striving to do better. If I ever lose that drive, then I need to move on to something new because in my mind there is no reason competing if you aren't trying to make yourself better.
Walking away from some of the days, I was super positive, but other days I was not. It is sometimes hard for me to understand the why behind everything, which is funny because when it involves my physical therapy patients, I really seem to understand it. But when it is directed straight about me, sometimes I have a hard time seeing the why at the end of the tunnel. |
| #fail |
So in retrospect of the week, here are a few take aways...
- The consistency in my lifts has improved greatly, I am able to hit max numbers or a few pounds off frequently.
- I have become more comfortable with my technique in the olympic lifts.
- I am able to cycle the barbell so much quicker than I could before.
- My grip strength is improving (which I am not sure if that is from my job as a PT or programming).
- And the biggest thing I have realized on reflection of this week is that I am enjoying being in the gym again. I look forward to lifting and to the gymnastics workouts. I can approach the WODs with a level head and perform well on them. And I can walk away from the gym in a good mood, no matter what happens (for the most part).
 |
| The smile after a fail, no joke. |
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Struggle #25: Enjoying the Ride
One thing that has always been a strong suit for me is setting goals. And with those goals comes lists on how to achieve them. I like thinking through the process and figuring out how to get there. It keeps me focused and helps me work toward my goals in a "controlled" manner. And let's be honest who doesn't love crossing off one of their goals and looking forward to new and exciting things?
I have set some big goals for myself in the CrossFit world, with one of them being to attempt to make CrossFit Regionals as an individual. I know this is a huge goal and honestly will be near impossible to achieve but I have to go for it, because if I don't then I will always regret it. With this goal in mind, I started putting a lot of pressure on myself and it really made me start resenting going to the gym. I literally was going to the gym, having a terrible time, working out in what was my eyes poorly, and then leaving in a bad mood.
I was pretty down on myself and wondering why am I even doing this. I am just starting a full time job, trying to figure out a schedule, and figure out how to have a life on top of it all. It got me thinking, maybe my goals are too big for what I can actually accomplish and questioning if I needed to reevaluate where I was.
It took one of my friends, who has similar goals, asking me what it would mean to me if I made regionals for me to break out of my funk and really think about why I want to do this. My first thought was it would prove to myself that all the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices paid off and were worth it. I would be able to prove to myself that I am strong (not just in a weights way) and mentally tough. As a preface, when I say everything was worth it, I am not saying if I don't make it the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices weren't worth it, because they still would be. With everyday, I learn something new about myself and learn that I am tougher than I thought I was, but making it would be a whole new level.
Sitting down and thinking about this really made me realize that I need to enjoy the journey because the odds of me making it are small. But if I enjoy the process along the way then everything will be worth it no matter what happens. The biggest thing I have to remember is that I am doing this for fun, for the joy of it. I will never be good enough to make a living off of working out, I will always have to have some other main source of income like 99.9% of the CrossFit athletes. I pay a lot of money to get my butt handed to me so if I am not enjoying it, then I should probably put that money toward something else.
I am trying to have a better attitude in the gym daily. If I am unable to do something I need to leave it at the door as I exit and move on. Some days are just going to be bad days at the gym, plain and simple. I need to learn to rely on those around me to keep the atmosphere light and fun. I am lucky to be surrounded by a great group of people that celebrate my success with me and pick me up when I fail. That is a rare thing to have and I have started to recognize that I need to take advantage of this.
What ever is supposed to happen is going to happen. I can put in all the effort I possibly can and still come up short, so the ride to get to the open needs to be enjoyable. I know I am lucky enough to have a great support system at my gym and that they will help me enjoy this journey, but I also have to remember this is for my love of CrossFit, not really for anything else.
So I am going to try to sit back (or work my butt off in the gym) and enjoy the ride.
I have set some big goals for myself in the CrossFit world, with one of them being to attempt to make CrossFit Regionals as an individual. I know this is a huge goal and honestly will be near impossible to achieve but I have to go for it, because if I don't then I will always regret it. With this goal in mind, I started putting a lot of pressure on myself and it really made me start resenting going to the gym. I literally was going to the gym, having a terrible time, working out in what was my eyes poorly, and then leaving in a bad mood.
I was pretty down on myself and wondering why am I even doing this. I am just starting a full time job, trying to figure out a schedule, and figure out how to have a life on top of it all. It got me thinking, maybe my goals are too big for what I can actually accomplish and questioning if I needed to reevaluate where I was.
It took one of my friends, who has similar goals, asking me what it would mean to me if I made regionals for me to break out of my funk and really think about why I want to do this. My first thought was it would prove to myself that all the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices paid off and were worth it. I would be able to prove to myself that I am strong (not just in a weights way) and mentally tough. As a preface, when I say everything was worth it, I am not saying if I don't make it the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices weren't worth it, because they still would be. With everyday, I learn something new about myself and learn that I am tougher than I thought I was, but making it would be a whole new level.
Sitting down and thinking about this really made me realize that I need to enjoy the journey because the odds of me making it are small. But if I enjoy the process along the way then everything will be worth it no matter what happens. The biggest thing I have to remember is that I am doing this for fun, for the joy of it. I will never be good enough to make a living off of working out, I will always have to have some other main source of income like 99.9% of the CrossFit athletes. I pay a lot of money to get my butt handed to me so if I am not enjoying it, then I should probably put that money toward something else.
I am trying to have a better attitude in the gym daily. If I am unable to do something I need to leave it at the door as I exit and move on. Some days are just going to be bad days at the gym, plain and simple. I need to learn to rely on those around me to keep the atmosphere light and fun. I am lucky to be surrounded by a great group of people that celebrate my success with me and pick me up when I fail. That is a rare thing to have and I have started to recognize that I need to take advantage of this.
What ever is supposed to happen is going to happen. I can put in all the effort I possibly can and still come up short, so the ride to get to the open needs to be enjoyable. I know I am lucky enough to have a great support system at my gym and that they will help me enjoy this journey, but I also have to remember this is for my love of CrossFit, not really for anything else.
So I am going to try to sit back (or work my butt off in the gym) and enjoy the ride.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)