Struggle #25: Enjoying the Ride

One thing that has always been a strong suit for me is setting goals. And with those goals comes lists on how to achieve them. I like thinking through the process and figuring out how to get there. It keeps me focused and helps me work toward my goals in a "controlled" manner. And let's be honest who doesn't love crossing off one of their goals and looking forward to new and exciting things?

I have set some big goals for myself in the CrossFit world, with one of them being to attempt to make CrossFit Regionals as an individual. I know this is a huge goal and honestly will be near impossible to achieve but I have to go for it, because if I don't then I will always regret it. With this goal in mind, I started putting a lot of pressure on myself and it really made me start resenting going to the gym. I literally was going to the gym, having a terrible time, working out in what was my eyes poorly, and then leaving in a bad mood.

I was pretty down on myself and wondering why am I even doing this. I am just starting a full time job, trying to figure out a schedule, and figure out how to have a life on top of it all. It got me thinking, maybe my goals are too big for what I can actually accomplish and questioning if I needed to reevaluate where I was.

It took one of my friends, who has similar goals, asking me what it would mean to me if I made regionals for me to break out of my funk and really think about why I want to do this. My first thought was it would prove to myself that all the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices paid off and were worth it. I would be able to prove to myself that I am strong (not just in a weights way) and mentally tough. As a preface, when I say everything was worth it, I am not saying if I don't make it the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices weren't worth it, because they still would be. With everyday, I learn something new about myself and learn that I am tougher than I thought I was, but making it would be a whole new level.

Sitting down and thinking about this really made me realize that I need to enjoy the journey because the odds of me making it are small. But if I enjoy the process along the way then everything will be worth it no matter what happens. The biggest thing I have to remember is that I am doing this for fun, for the joy of it. I will never be good enough to make a living off of working out, I will always have to have some other main source of income like 99.9% of the CrossFit athletes. I pay a lot of money to get my butt handed to me so if I am not enjoying it, then I should probably put that money toward something else.

I am trying to have a better attitude in the gym daily. If I am unable to do something I need to leave it at the door as I exit and move on. Some days are just going to be bad days at the gym, plain and simple. I need to learn to rely on those around me to keep the atmosphere light and fun. I am lucky to be surrounded by a great group of people that celebrate my success with me and pick me up when I fail. That is a rare thing to have and I have started to recognize that I need to take advantage of this.

What ever is supposed to happen is going to happen. I can put in all the effort I possibly can and still come up short, so the ride to get to the open needs to be enjoyable. I know I am lucky enough to have a great support system at my gym and that they will help me enjoy this journey, but I also have to remember this is for my love of CrossFit, not really for anything else.

So I am going to try to sit back (or work my butt off in the gym) and enjoy the ride.