Struggle #25: Enjoying the Ride

One thing that has always been a strong suit for me is setting goals. And with those goals comes lists on how to achieve them. I like thinking through the process and figuring out how to get there. It keeps me focused and helps me work toward my goals in a "controlled" manner. And let's be honest who doesn't love crossing off one of their goals and looking forward to new and exciting things?

I have set some big goals for myself in the CrossFit world, with one of them being to attempt to make CrossFit Regionals as an individual. I know this is a huge goal and honestly will be near impossible to achieve but I have to go for it, because if I don't then I will always regret it. With this goal in mind, I started putting a lot of pressure on myself and it really made me start resenting going to the gym. I literally was going to the gym, having a terrible time, working out in what was my eyes poorly, and then leaving in a bad mood.

I was pretty down on myself and wondering why am I even doing this. I am just starting a full time job, trying to figure out a schedule, and figure out how to have a life on top of it all. It got me thinking, maybe my goals are too big for what I can actually accomplish and questioning if I needed to reevaluate where I was.

It took one of my friends, who has similar goals, asking me what it would mean to me if I made regionals for me to break out of my funk and really think about why I want to do this. My first thought was it would prove to myself that all the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices paid off and were worth it. I would be able to prove to myself that I am strong (not just in a weights way) and mentally tough. As a preface, when I say everything was worth it, I am not saying if I don't make it the hard work, pain, tears, and sacrifices weren't worth it, because they still would be. With everyday, I learn something new about myself and learn that I am tougher than I thought I was, but making it would be a whole new level.

Sitting down and thinking about this really made me realize that I need to enjoy the journey because the odds of me making it are small. But if I enjoy the process along the way then everything will be worth it no matter what happens. The biggest thing I have to remember is that I am doing this for fun, for the joy of it. I will never be good enough to make a living off of working out, I will always have to have some other main source of income like 99.9% of the CrossFit athletes. I pay a lot of money to get my butt handed to me so if I am not enjoying it, then I should probably put that money toward something else.

I am trying to have a better attitude in the gym daily. If I am unable to do something I need to leave it at the door as I exit and move on. Some days are just going to be bad days at the gym, plain and simple. I need to learn to rely on those around me to keep the atmosphere light and fun. I am lucky to be surrounded by a great group of people that celebrate my success with me and pick me up when I fail. That is a rare thing to have and I have started to recognize that I need to take advantage of this.

What ever is supposed to happen is going to happen. I can put in all the effort I possibly can and still come up short, so the ride to get to the open needs to be enjoyable. I know I am lucky enough to have a great support system at my gym and that they will help me enjoy this journey, but I also have to remember this is for my love of CrossFit, not really for anything else.

So I am going to try to sit back (or work my butt off in the gym) and enjoy the ride.

Struggle #24: The Real World

The foursome in our fancy Doctorate garb

So a lot has happened to me in the past few months and I apologize for not blogging that much... Or at all. I have been on a wild ride but I finally feel like I am starting to get into the groove of everything.  It has taken me this long to blog because I knew once I started this up again that I can't fall off of it.  So here I am ready to be a dedicated blogger again. I have really found that this is a great outlet for me and my thoughts so bear with me as I type away!

First thing is first... I graduated from graduate school and I am officially a Doctor of Physical Therapy! It has been really hard for me actually use the title of doctor because I feel really weird saying it. But everyone around me seems to think it is fun to use, so it seems to roll a little easier off the tongue for me now a days. With becoming a real life physical therapist comes the reality of needing a job, so that is how the beginning of my summer started off.

I was lucky enough to have a connection through my CrossFit gym that got me in contact with a private practice called TheraPlus, whose owner was looking to hire someone. I was nervous about interviewing and everything else it entailed but the job seemed to be almost a perfect fit for me. I get to work with individuals from the age of 6-92 basically and almost everyone is relatively active, healing from an injury, or training to get in better shape. I remember calling my mom after the interview and saying I think I found a job!

She along with many others were nervous about me taking the first job offer I was given, but I had a good feeling about the place. I officially started working there about six weeks ago and things have honestly been going really well. The biggest thing I can say is there is still so much I need to learn. SLU prepared me well for being an entry level PT, but I didn't realize this entry level title really meant I am starting with little knowledge compared to my boss who has fifteen plus years of experience on me.

If you ever need PT and are in the
St. Louis area, look me up!

With each patient I learn something new, whether it be about therapist/patient relationship, ways to mobilize someone, or different exercises to do for things. I am working hard to provide the best possible care I can and I feel like for the most part I do a pretty darn good job. But I definitely get super excited when I do something right and see that what I am doing is benefitting my patient. I hope this is something I never lose.

Starting a real world job has been exhausting for me. My hours right now are all over the place so finding a consistent schedule has been near impossible and not to mention my boss left me alone in the clinic my fourth week there while he and his family went on vacation. Some days I come home completely wiped out and I am thankful I only have to take care of myself at the moment. If I was trying to get adjusted to the real world with a family, pets, or other major responsibilities I know I would be a lot more stressed. Major props to everyone that does that!

The past two weeks I have really gotten better about my diet again. I have locked in on eating good food that is going to fuel my body appropriately. With that being said, that means I have really stepped up my meal preparation again. I have always been great at packing lunches but dinner and breakfast are sometimes hard for me to get a move on. For breakfast my easy solution has been making an egg casserole with a bunch of delicious things in it and for dinner I am trying to make meals I will eat as left-overs so I am not tempted by fast food (mainly Chipolte...). Meal prep seems to make my life so much easier, so I am really trying to stay on top of that.

Always staying busy with
my CrossFit crew

The hardest thing for me right now without a consistent schedule is trying to figure out when I am going to train for CrossFit. I still have big goals that I wish to achieve, but with a varying schedule everyday it is hard to stay consistent in what I want/need to do. I have been fortunate enough to find time to go to the gym everyday but sometimes all I feel like I do is work, workout, eat, and maybe sleep.

I also notice when I have a long day at work and head straight to the gym that my attitude toward working out may not be the most positive thing. I always feel better after working out and that is one of the main reasons I go every day, but I need to work on being excited to be there from the get go. A negative attitude to start with can quickly lead to a downhill slide for the rest of the day, so I try to remind myself everyday of my goals and what it takes to get there. It seems to make me focus better and have a better attitude.

So really to sum it all up, my life hasn't been that exciting the past few weeks. It has mainly been wake up, go to work, head to the gym, come home and try to find something to eat, unwind for a few minutes, and then head to sleep. If I am lucky I squeeze a shower into that mix but sometimes that's just too much effort. Just kidding! I always shower after working out. And wash my hair even though apparently that's bad for your hair.

But anyways, I promise to start posting regularly on here again so stay tuned for the struggles and strengths of yours truly.

I was lucky enough to go to Disney World with my family this summer.
Probably one of my highlights! Everything is magical there.