Struggle #21: Big Changes

I hate big changes. They scare me (as I have mentioned before) and I overthink them, a lot. This past week, I have had a few big changes and well let's just say it's been an unsettling week for me.

My car's decorations

First off, I had to leave my comfort zone on where I was living. For 5 months I will be spending the majority of my time in Champaign, IL and Kansas City, KS. I am away from the comforts of home in both St. Louis and Peoria. Sure I can travel back to either of them when I want and have the free time but it's exhausting traveling all the time and working a full time job (for free I might add). Thankfully my first one is close to Peoria so I can watch my little brother swim and see my family but again traveling.

Thankfully I am staying with a great family in Champaign and they have accepted me as one of theirs. The dogs love me and I think even their boys like me. I got my car snowballed by them today so I will be styling tomorrow. I am hoping that I find as good as a situation in KC, however, I am still working out all of the details.

Even though I have a great place to stay here in Champaign, it is still hard for me to be away from my family in STL. I had to accept the fact this week that the majority of the training I am going to do over the next five months may be by myself. I am still trying to follow the CrossFit Invictus training that CrossFit St. Louis competitors follow but this week has shown me that is going to be a challenge.

My gym for the next 9 weeks

Up until this week, I didn't realize how rare what CrossFit St. Louis has. We have a huge competitors class and are offered two times a day that we can go to it. Unfortunately none of the gyms here really have that. One kind of has a competitors class but it is at 9:30 a.m. and unfortunately with a job you can't really do that. Anyways, finding a place that will allow me to do extra programming has been a challenge. Thankfully the people at CrossFit Champaign Urbana are willing to work with me and let me do my own thing when I can. After the search I had looking for this, I am very grateful that they are willing to work with me. I know training by myself will be a challenge but I am focused and driven and I know what the end goal is here. I want to be on the CrossFit St. Louis Regionals team and I want to represent my gym well!

I also have started working for 9 weeks at Carle Clinic this past week. It has been a great experience so far (the total of a week), but I know that I have a lot of work to do in order to get to where I need to be as a physical therapist. I am nervous about accomplishing everything that needs to be done. I know that I can do it but it is just daunting to think about that I will be in the real world in 5 months so I better not screw this up.

Bella Bear. How can you
not say "awwwww"

With graduation from PT school comes taking the boards in order to become licensed. WOW. That is sneaking up and will require lots of studying. I am pretty sure all of my time the next 5 months will be spent working full time as a PT, working out in a gym, and studying. I need to get my head wrapped around this idea because it is fast approaching and I need to be ready to go. There is no backing down now on any of these endeavors.

Big changes in my life scare me. I know that they all come for a reason and make me stronger but it takes some time for me to adjust to them. I like my comfort zone, I know what I am doing and what's going to happen, for the most part... Thankfully I have wonderful people back in STL and Peoria that I can talk to whenever I want because this past week has been a transition for me. It's hard for me to adjust to all of these things and the more I look ahead, the scarier things get. But I know that as I go through all of these transitions, it is just preparing me for what lies ahead in life.

So while these changes seem daunting to me, I am trying to take each step one at a time. I know my support system will help me out but I also know that I have to do a lot of these things for myself as well. I am trying to approach these things with open arms, but I am finding it harder to do than expected. I miss everyone in STL and Peoria. I want to be back with them in my normal routine. I am thankful for the family I am staying with here because they are helping and they have two adorable, loving dogs, but it's still a transition. But I will get there. Slowly but surely.