Struggle #10: School Mode

So I officially started my last semester in classes this past Tuesday! Wow! Scary, but exciting all the same. I am ready to be done with school but definitely not ready to start the real world yet. Thankfully, I will have next summer to study for boards so I can delay the growing up just a little bit longer! But anyways getting myself back into "school mode" has been tough. It is so hard going from being in the clinic everyday and interacting with patients to sitting in a classroom all day. And this week has been especially hard because it has really only been going over syllabuses and not learning anything new.

We have been told that this year is a lot of group projects which has its ups and its downs. First off that means that we do not have a lot of tests which is wonderful! But it also means you better hope you have a good group so that you don't end up doing all the projects on your own. Hopefully this will work out in my favor! This semester will also be wrapping up a lot of things we have learned previously and tying them all together. I am praying that I didn't brain dump everything and that I can dust off some of the cobwebs hanging out in my brain!

But besides school this week has been good! I have a relatively light schedule this semester with classes so I am challenging myself to get my cooking on. Someone gave me the idea to make Lara bars on my own instead of buying them at the store. When I went "googling" for recipes online I found a ton of them and they were all pretty easy! Thanks to my roommate having a food processor, all I needed were the ingredients.

The delicious bars I made.
I found putting them in bags and then
letting them set up in the freezer works
the best to keep them stuck together

Although originally purchasing the ingredients was relatively expensive, they will last me for awhile so I looked at it as an investment... I made 4 different kinds of bars, and 3/4 were delicious and better than Lara bars in my opinion. The one I didn't like I put oatmeal in and it just didn't tickle my fancy but the other ones were great.

The recipies for the bars I made:

Almond Butter Cookie
1/4 cup cashews
2 tbsp Almond butter
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 dates

Almond Cookie
1/3 cup dates
1/2 cup almonds
1/4 tsp vanilla

Walnut Almond Cookie
2 tbsp Almond butter
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup walnuts
1/4 tsp vanilla

Honestly you can just throw any ingredients you want in there and mix them in the food processor. I would suggest using almond butter in them because it helps them stick together. And I am not kidding you they are better than Lara bars in my opinion! I'm definitely going to have fun experimenting with all the different things I can throw into them!

I was also very proud of myself this week because I hit a 25# PR on my Snatch Balance and a 10# PR on my squat clean! Instead of my usual celebration meal of ice cream, I stuck to my plan and ate healthy meals afterwards! I feel so much better because I am not undoing every good thing I do in the gym by eating unhealthily. Although I know I got stronger while I was in Cincinnati, I also cant deny that this diet is helping me out! I also semi-conquered the Mexican restaurant earlier this week! I got fish tacos without the shells haha (look to the left for the deliciousness on a plate) but I still had one of those darn margaritas... Both items were absolutely delicious!

As I continue to eat healthy, I have found that it is becoming easier and easier to stick to the plan. Six weeks in and I feel healthier, stronger, and more confident in myself. The "sweet tooth" detoxing continues but now that I am in St. Louis it is easier for me to only get Ted Drewes once a week. I am on a schedule and I can stick to it. I have many great people here in St. Louis that give me great ideas for food and help keep me on track, which is wonderful. It had been an interesting process but I look forward to the challenges that lay ahead of me and that will keep my working toward my goals.


 

Struggle #9: Being Tough

Somedays are just not your day in the gym and today was definitely one of those days for me. I was so excited to be back at CrossFit St. Louis and prove that I have been working hard in Cincinnati for the past five weeks. I literally just got finished telling one of my coaches that I feel like I gained a lot better mentality since I have been gone and that I was excited to train.

The workout started out fine. I did the accessory work and actually surprised myself with how well I did on it considering I haven't performed those skills in awhile. We were setting up for the workout and I was feeling alright, I knew the workout was going to suck but I totally thought I could do all of it. I had told myself I could do it and I was going to do it. (See confidence is key! One of the main things my Clinical Instructor at Children's stressed to me, something that I am going to make prevalent in my life now). The workout was every 3 minutes for 8 rounds: Run 400m, 10 box overs(24"), and one heavy clean.

We all stand at the garage door and here 3,2,1... GO and take off. I am through the first 4 rounds just fine. We get to that 5th run and my legs start feeling weird. It's like the muscles don't want to keep my legs tight so every time I step I feel weird. I fight through that round just thinking I am tired and the workout is kicking my butt. Which it was... We start the 6th round and my legs are totally going to buckle. I have to stop and walk for a bit because I am afraid I am going to fall. I get back into the gym after this lovely run and cant get my feet up to the box. BAHHH! I am so frustrated! My coach yells at me to focus and I finally give myself a second to think and get my feet back up there. I finish that round 30 seconds over the time and have to take the 7th round off because my legs aren't working.. GRR

I was so mad at myself because since I have been training at Conjugate I feel like my mentality has gotten so much better. Walking into the gym on the first day, I knew no one and no one knew me so I had to prove myself everyday. On the first workout, I was bent over resting my hands on my legs and the coach yelled at me to stop letting the workout defeat me. I don't know what it was but something clicked with me and I started approaching every workout with the mind set that I could do it and I wasn't going to let the workout defeat me.

I am not going to say I was perfect at it the entire time but I gained a lot more confidence. I tried to approach each workout whole heartedly and with an attitude that I could do it. So often I let my head get the best of me and I defeat myself before the workout even starts (especially with deadlifts...), but at Conjugate I feel like I began to conquer this because I had no other choice. Almost every day I walked out of there proud of myself because I was the one who had conquered the workout and the workout didn't defeat me.

There are plenty of excuses I could come up with as to why I couldn't finish this workout, but the only one I am going to say is the St. Louis humidity. Boy I forgot how much of a toll that takes on you and how it makes you have to look at a workout differently. It reminded me of the importance of staying hydrated, something that I wasn't as good about when working in the clinic because you get lost in time treating patients. And it also reminded me that everyday isn't going to be a good one, but you have to take the bad days and learn from them.

I learned that sometimes my body just isn't going to do what I ask it to and that's ok. I have to listen to myself and know my limits. It isn't smart for me to run that 7th 400 when my legs aren't working and I feel like I am going to pass out. I am glad my coach made me sit down and take a minute because what good is it going to do for me to kill myself. There comes a point where you push too hard and only bad things happen. I learned to drink lots water because my body needs it, especially working out in this heat. And I leaned that one workout isn't going to define you. Even though I was so excited to be back and prove to myself I was stronger mentally and physically, yesterday just wasn't my day. But I do know that I am stronger mentally and physically since my stay in Cincinnati and I am ready to prove that to myself this coming week and the coming months. I have set goals for myself and I know I am one step closer to realizing them, it will just take more than one workout to get there.

Struggle #8: Eating "bad"

So this being my last weekend in Cincinnati (but really first because of all of the traveling I have done), I decided to let myself eat "bad" for the weekend because well this would be my only chance to experience everything there is in Cincinnati. I was super excited for this weekend because I could eat whatever I wanted and no one was going to stop me! I was a little afraid of how my stomach would handle it, but I figured I would power through it!  I totally thought this was going to be the best weekend of food ever, but it really wasn't... I'll dig into that later on, but first, what I ate.

Friday two of my classmates who are also here in Cincinnati went to NewPort on the Levy. It is a cool little area and there is a lot to do around there! We went to Hafbrauhaus, a cool German place, after work and ate a little dinner and drank a little beer. I got the Bavarian Jägerschnitzel, which was a pan-seared pork with a mushroom cream sauce on top, that came with a potato pancake and German potato salad, along with a Hafbrau light beer. (pictured below)

The pork was delicious but the sides weren't that good and definitely not good enough for me to waste carbs on and I couldn't even finish the beer. It didn't even taste good to me, it made my stomach so full! Later that night we joined another girl from our class at a bar and we got bacon cheesy fries... Now those were delicious but I definitely paid the price for those later on! Oh well.

Saturday  I got up and ate a delicious Larabar (purchased for a $0.89 at Kroger!!!) and then went to workout at CrossFit Conjugate with their competitors.  Let me tell you I was intimidated beyond belief but they do team workouts on Saturday morning and I ended up having a great time, meeting some new people, and oh yeah, PRing my push press by 15#! I had a quick protein shake after that and then went out to explore the city!

^ My delicious marg :)
<-- The cool Farmer's Market we found

Katrina (my classmate sharing the basement I am staying at with me) and I had a list of places to go! We first went to a cool area called On The Rhine! Parking was ridiculous but the places we went to were awesome! We found a farmer's market full of local dealers selling their crafts that we explored while we waited for a table at a place called Bakersfield! This restaurant was amazing, the margaritas and food were to die for! Here I got a marg, corn chips and guacamole, and two tacos. I would recommend this place to anyone traveling in the Cincinnati area!



From here we explored On The Rhine a bit more, went on the river walk by the Ohio river (they have swings!) and then to Eden Park which had some of the coolest views of the city!

Our last stop in the city was Mount Adams where we visited Mount Adams Pavilion and The Blind Lemon. I may have gotten two margaritas at the Pavilion but I had to enjoy the incredible view there! We also got a dip sampler platter with hummus, spinach dip, buffalo chicken dip, and chips. I was so not looking forward to the idea of more carbs so I asked for celery to eat my dip with and it was delicious! Once we got back from there Katrina and I sat in the hot tub and watched a movie and then topped our night off with shakes from United Dairy Farmer's (strawberry and Oreos!).

While everything I ate and drank was pretty delicious, I definitely learned that I don't really want to waste my bad carbs, calories, and food on this stuff. My favorite food in the whole world is ice cream and if I am going to have bad calories it is going to be my ice cream once a week. While the fried food was good and the chips were delicious, I didn't enjoy them as much as I should have. The whole time I was eating them I was thinking about how hard I have been working on my diet and in the gym and how all this food could affect that. I am getting to a point where I am excited how my body is looking and the definition that is starting to arise. That is thanks to all of the carbs I have cut out of my diet! 

I have also been working my tail off in the gym everyday and have been seeing gains. I have my first individual competition coming up and I want to be able to perform at my best. The fuel I have been putting in my body is helping me make these gains and I didn't enjoy putting the crappy food into my body. While it was nice to loosen the reigns for a weekend, I will definitely be getting back to my meal prepping and good eats because it makes me feel so much better. I know what is going into my body and I know that it is going to benefit me.

So today I was back to my healthy eating and it made me much happier and tonight I am cooking on the grill for dinner and for food for lunches this week. I know I will definitely eat a cheat meal every now and again but a whole weekend is just not my thing. And well the ice cream will definitely be the majority of my bad food because it's just too darn delicious!

Cincinnati skyline fron Newport, KY

  

Struggle #7: Family Vaca without Me

Growing up sucks sometimes. This week my family is in Golf Shore without me. With my two brother's crazy busy schedule, my parents' insane work schedule, and my school/clinical schedule, this was the only week that we could get four out of five people together. Unfortunately, I was the one left out of this deal. So while my family was sitting on the beach today (and sending me pictures), I was working away in Cincinnati.

Yeah you could say I am a bit jealous! But it's ok... I do absolutely love where I am working right now! Working with kids, whether it be swim coaching, babysitting, or in the PT clinic has always been one of my favorite things to do. Kids just bring so much joy to everything they do with their energy, innocence, and love of life that it rubs off on me and puts me in a good mood. My long days of driving, CrossFit, and work fly by! I find myself looking at the clock about 3 times a day and it is usually when I am hungry and I am just seeing how much longer I have until I can eat.

There are very few dull moments when you are working with children in a PT clinic. The questions that they come up with just blow my mind. They want to know everything about all of the equipment we have in the clinic, why they have to do an exercise, and when they are going to get better. I get asked at least once a day, "When am I going to be able to play my sport again?" I constantly have to think of different ways to explain things to them because they don't understand things in "adult" terms yet. I talk about the spine as a "set of blocks with cushions in between them" and explain the proper squat mechanics as "sitting down on the toilet."

I am constantly reminded over and over again how tough kids are and it amazes me every day. Things that would make adults cry, kids just keep pushing through. How messed-up (for lack of a better term) some kids are just amazes me but they just keep going and don't complain at all. I have learned that I have to ask if a kid is in pain because they are most likely not going to tell me. They only want to get better and will do whatever I tell them to do in order to get back to their sport. Most of my kids are very determined and adhere to their home exercise program way better than my adult patients ever have. It amazes me the resilience they show me every day.

This clinical experience has shown me that I really want to work with kids in my future. It is something that I truly love and want to be able to do for a long time. Everyday, I leave work with a smile on my face and a story to tell someone about how awesome my kids are. So while I complain about my family leaving me here in Cincinnati, I honestly can't complain that much. I  love where I am and what I am doing and that is all anyone can really ask for (besides being in Cinci and not STL).

Mark, me, and Hannah at CrossFit 

Plus my family and the Gutzwiller's (the other family traveling with us) made a stop in Nashville for the weekend so I could hang out with them for a bit! I absolutely love my family and the Gutz's are like a second family to me and getting together with them is something I can never complain about. We had a blast exploring Nashville! My bother, dad, and I made it downtown on Friday night and did some of the best people watching ever! Hannah G., Mark, and I went to CrossFit Nashville on Saturday for a 3 person team workout burner (holy burpees over a partner)! And we visited the Country Music Hall of Fame, the outlet mall (where I got an adorable dress), and the Grand Ole Opry on Saturday. We capped off the day with pizza at 11:45 at night (I know not on the approved food list but no where else was serving food). Sunday stunk to say goodbye but overall the trip was awesome and I cant wait to get back!

Grant and I looking adorable (above)

Mark and I at Wildhorse Saloon getting our line dancing on

Oh by the way... I am slowly starting to figure out the blog settings, check out the "About Me" tab on the top of my blog!

Struggle #6: The Sweet Tooth

Ok... So I'm not perfect! I would love to tell you that I am super good 100% of the time with my diet but I am not... Tonight I was really craving ice cream but I don't have any in the house so overall I thought it would be a pretty safe bet I could just ignore it all night. However, as I was attempting to grill my pork chops, the grill ran out of gas so I decided to go get some more so my pork chops could be cooked correctly.  On my adventure out I ran into a local ice cream place in Cincinnati... All of my patients keep telling me I need to go there so I thought why not?

Yeah bad life choice. I walked in and thought I am only going to get a scoop of ice cream, which was actually all I got BUT I already had my ice cream once a week this week!!! My mind is in a little battle with itself but I got the ice cream anyways because well I didn't want to be that person that walks into a ice cream place and then doesn't get anything... Well the picture below shows where my ice cream ended up quickly.

Yep in the garbage... I had probably 4 bites and then realized it wasn't really what I wanted.  I mean don't get me wrong, I wanted every bite of it but I totally didn't want the thoughts and feelings that go along with eating it. Damn guilty conscious.  Lesson learned and $2.59 wasted, oh well.

I was debating if I should punish myself for my slip-up but I decided not to.  If I punish myself, I will only want something sweet that much more and will probably truly slip-up and indulge in a lot more things than I should.  So I have decided to take this slip-up and make it into something positive.  I am going to try really hard to find something that helps lessen my sweet tooth cravings. I have no idea what this is going to be yet but this is my mission for the next week! Hopefully I find something that will work with me and make me not so damn crazy for sweets.  When I figure it out, I will let you know!

Struggle #5: Driving by Myself

Well put another 700 miles on my car this weekend while driving to St. Louis and back!  My car is definitely going to hate me by the end of this clinical rotation! But the drive was definitely worth it because I got to compete at my home gym (CrossFit St. Louis) with an awesome team for an awesome cause!  This weekend was the LuLu Lemon Give Back Throw Down and it was an absolute blast!  3 WODs completed in 4 hours, a very well run competition that had us all giving 100%!  Pictured below are the Rx and Scaled team for our gym.  The Rx team composed of myself, Jen (JFT), Joe, and Dan got 2nd overall, donating $500 to charity from LuLu!

STL Scaled team on the left, RX on the right

It was soooo good to be back in STL! I miss my CrossFit family there! Good people to train with and hold me accountable everyday but even better people in general that are great friends!  After the competition we went to Trainwrecked, a local bar, and had some delicious food followed up by Ted Drewes! My absolute favorite! I got a concrete full of cookie dough and oreo and it was delicious! I savored every bite and definitely do not want to punish myself with no ice cream for a week again! I was going crazy without my chocolate fix!

Even though I did a lot of traveling this weekend, I was still able to eat pretty darn healthy and I am very proud of that! I packed breakfast, lunch, and dinner on Friday so I wasn't tempted to stop at a fast food restaurant somewhere.  I brought chicken, guacamole, and plantain chips for dinner and it was great! Besides the 45 min dead stop in traffic due to an accident the drive was fine. I also ate out on Saturday and ate pretty healthy too! Chicken sanwich (no bun) and sweet potato fries at Train Wrecked and a salad for dinner after my ice cream consumption. It is so much easier to eat out with people that are involved in CrossFit and understand the way I eat!

I got back to Cincinnati yesterday and went to town at the grocery store and the kitchen! Each time I go to the store label reading gets easier and I get in and out of there quicker and happier! I have learned to basically stay on the outside of the store because that is where all the "good" food is (except for the $0.89 Lara bars that I may have went crazy buying! Cant miss a deal when it is right in front of you!) When I got back to the kitchen I decided to fry up enough bacon for the week and also experimented making sweet potato fries. The prep for them was relatively easy (besides cutting them with a dull knife) because all I used was coconut oil, pepper, and a bit of salt to flavor them. However, I may have cut them a little too thin and left them in the oven a little too long. Oh well lesson learned, burned sweet potato fries aren't nearly as good! 

My sweet potato fries and bacon cooking!

I also purchased some almond milk at the store just to see what it was like... I am not quite sure on the verdict yet. Definitely not regular milk and a little too sweet for me but the taste may grow on me... I also made some delicious salads for the week (pictured below)

This week's salads include some chopped up greens form the 

store, yellow peppers, bacon, mushrooms, and left-over

chicken from the grill last week! SUCCESS!

I have found it is easiest if I have my lunches for the week laid out for me every Sunday so that way I do not even have to think about when I am packing lunch the night before. I have also found staying consistent with the same foods for breakfast and lunch for a week keeps my grocery bill cheaper and the food doesn't go bad. I try to switch up dinner every night just to give me a little variety!

This weekend was my first competition since really truly eating healthy and let me tell you I felt great! I don't know if it is all the diet but the diet is definitely helping and I am very proud of myself for working so hard to stick to it.  I have my cravings for thing often but I am hoping in a month or so they start to die down a little bit more. I am so excited to keep eating healthy and to keep training my butt off in the gym every day. Little by little, if I put the work in, I will continue to see #gains! I already saw one this weekend with a 10# PR on my power snatch! 

 I hit 130# (the picture doesn't have the correct weight

or the smile that accompanied the lift afterwards)