Struggle #18: Going Home

She is so adorable
though, I can't help it!

So do NOT get me wrong, I absolutely love coming home and hanging out with my family and friends! It is so nice to see everyone and just relax for a little bit. I don't mind letting someone else take care of me either or just spending time with my mom. I also get to play with my dog, Holly, and she is absolutely adorable. I have already been called out for how many dog snaps I have sent... Oops. But coming home also poses its own challenges.

The first big challenge of coming home is trying to eat healthy and not get caught up in all of the distracting food that is everywhere around me. I come home and there is fresh baked banana bread just out of the oven along with brownies and a host of cookies in our junk food drawer. So tempting to just have a little bit of everything. But so far (roughly 36 hours) I have held strong. We will see how Thanksgiving goes tomorrow though... I am nervous for all of the delicious deserts my family makes. My family is known for baking so I tomorrow could be a totally different story.

I told myself that a few nibbles will be ok and for all intensive purposes it will be, but I have to hold strong to that. I cannot let myself go crazy and feast on all of the food. I have been doing so well and I need to stick to my guns. I can still enjoy thanksgiving and all of the family time, I may just not enjoy all of the food that I want to, but there are definitely worse things.

Quick side note... I made these chicken roll ups last week that were amazing. They were super simple and I had plenty of leftovers for the rest of the week which was great! It required me to smash the chicken (which ended up being a good stress reliever), spread some pesto on them, add a little prosciutto and pop them in the oven. Such an easy dish and definitely delicious.

Tomorrow I get to spend time with my grandparents from both sides and also my great aunt and uncle. They usually spend the holidays with us and that always leads to us singing The Sound of Music songs. Our favorite is "The Lonely GoatTerd" (it may be Goatherd but by family is weird...). My brother, mom, great aunt, and I always sing. Everyone acts like they hate it but they secretly love it. I always look forward to hanging out with them! You never know what the day may bring.

Another challenge of coming home is trying to find time to workout. I want to spend time with my family but I also don't want to fall off track. I feel like I am making so much progress in the gym and I don't want to go backwards. I am lucky enough to get to workout with the CrossFit North Peoria competitors today! It will be a great workout but it isn't until 10a.m. this morning and that is just in the middle of the day for me. I feel like my day doesn't start until I work out so waking up at 7 and then waiting 3 hours to workout kind of kills me haha. Hence why I thought it would be a good time to blog!

Approaching this Thanksgiving I have been thinking about what I am thankful for. This blog really helps me think things through so here is a short list of what I am thankful for. (In no particular order)

PT ladies!

1. My PT school friends. They may think I am crazy for working out all the time but they always support me and are willing to have fun with me! Last week, unfortunately, Hunter Hayes cancelled his concert we were al going to but we still made a great night out of it. We hit up our favorite Mexican place in STL, Tortillarilla, and then just hung out together!

Girls night!

2. My CrossFit St. Louis family. I was lucky enough to hang out with them last Friday night and like always it was a great night! We have some new people joining us and I am excited to get to know them better! The night started with a girls night with Jen and JoAnna. We decided to get dressed up and head to a neat little restaurant in St. Louis and then we met up with everyone else! I may have ended up dancing the night away with everyone!

3. My family. They are the best and put up with all of my weirdness too. But spending time with them is always a great time. I get to go out with my brother tonight, I am helping coach my other little brother in swimming this week (which he is getting really, really good at), I get to go shopping with my mom this week, and don't forget the constant but loving pestering from my dad. Also all the Turkey Week activities with my extended family!

That is the short list but there are many many more. Anyways, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving weekend and gets to enjoy some delicious food! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Just and awesome picture that I love! Teamwork makes
the dream work! Love these ladies!

Strength #5: My Training Partner

I have been struggling all week about what to write about in my blog... I have about five different ideas whirling around in my mind but I can't quite put enough words together to write about them yet or I have a specific time in mind that I want to write them and it isn't right now. So anyways last night after working out, this idea totally struck me as exactly what I wanted to write about! One of my biggest strengths, not only in CrossFit but life, is my training partner Jen.

Jen and I are in totally opposite places in our lives. I am a 23 year old graduate school student with limited responsibilities. My parents still help me pay for things (which I am forever grateful for) because with my crazy school/clinical schedule I am not able to find much work besides babysitting. She is 38 years old, married, has two kids, a full-time job, and about 1,000 different responsibilities. From the outside looking in our close friendship makes no sense and I often think people at the gym and life just stare at us and ponder this. But our differences really don't matter and haven't stopped us from becoming great friends.

If it wasn't through CrossFit, I'm not sure we would have never met. I remember one of my first times going to the competitors class at CrossFit St. Louis and she was the first one to talk to me and make me feel like I was part of the group. Being one of the oldest in the competitors group, Jen is like a mom to most of us and we frequently refer to her lovingly as "mom." She is always looking out for all of us and makes sure that we are doing alright.

Jen and I weren't initially as close as we are now, but we originally started to lift together because all of our weight lifting numbers are extremely close. It is so nice and convenient to only have to pull half of the weights out that we need. FYI: Jen may be 15 years older than me but she is still a bada** and can lift the same amount of weight that I can if not more! Do NOT ever let age stop you!

Always proud of her and her
accomplishments. Continuing
to show she is a beast!

Working out and lifting together for the past 6-7 months has really created a bond between the two of us. Every workout we do together, we push each other to do our best. We hold each other accountable  in every workout and tell each other that we can do something even when we may think we can't. We scream for each other's PR's, we talk each other through lifts, point out what we need to work on, but most importantly we pick each other up when we have a bad day. One thing I have learned with CrossFit is that you are not going to hit a PR every time and sometimes that is hard to keep in mind. Jen is always there to pick me up when I have a bad day and that means the world to me. Prime example was last night, what led me to this post.

Anyone that knows me and my CrossFit history knows that I struggle with deadlifts. Physically I have a hard time maintaining proper form and mentally I have an even harder time wrapping my head around them. I could go into a lot of detail here, but that is for another post, another day. Anyways, last night we were supposed to do 2 at 95% of our one repetition max. Last night I could only do one at 90% and my form was awful. My frustration around these lead me to have a mini melt down. Nothing crazy dramatic but I definitely had tears in my eyes because of this. Jen made me look at her and told me to move on, it wasn't  big deal and after all we had a 30 minute death march workout ahead of us.

She knows me and knew I needed a swift kick in the butt to help me move on and to face the workout we had ahead of us. After the workout and when I was home she texted me and told me how great I did in the workout and to move on from my deadlift frustrations and that I will get them next time. She always tells me great job when I have a good day or I overcome something but will tell me on that bad days that it is alright. The whole weekend I was at ShredFest she was telling me how proud she was of me for competing and giving it my all. Just having her remind me of these things helps me keep competitive exercise it in perspective.

That about sums it up 

Jen and I have become friends outside of the gym too though. Again, how do two people in totally different places in their lives get along so well?  I don't really have an explanation but it works. And while we may talk about CrossFit and things related to they gym, that is less than 50% of our conversations. I can talk to her anything and it doesn't matter what it is, she will listen and give advice when needed. She has become one of my best friends and is like a second mother to me (which in writing this down it makes sense because that is how my real mother is too, a best friend).

Claire and I

Our friendship was formed because of CrossFit, but it has grown for different reasons. I am so thankful that I have Jen to lean on when I have a bad day but also tell about my good days as well, whether it be at the gym or in life. Being away from home is hard on me because I love my family sooo much, but having someone here in St. Louis that I can hang out with makes it easier. She has let me be a part of her family in a sense and her daughter, Claire, has become like a little sister to me. Just the other night we were chilling in a hotel hot tub watching her daughter swim in a freezing cold pool and I was thinking about these things. After last night though I knew I wanted to write about her as one of my strengths!

I am so grateful for the fact that Jen and I can lift the same amount of weight. This lead to me having an awesome training partner to push me everyday in the gym, but also gave me a great friend.  It is crazy how this world works sometimes and this is one of those things I am thankful for. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you is what life is all about.

October Food Challenge: Week 5 (a little late)

Ok. So I really did finish up my October food challenge last week but I just haven't posted it yet. I know excuses are excuses but mine is that I have 5 projects due this coming week and all I have been doing is typing and writing for all of these projects. I am really over the amount of group projects, busy work, and assignments that I have for this semester. While it is nice not having near as many tests the extra work is out of control. But alas, I digress back to the food...

So I did postpone the last week of my food making because of the busy, busy schedule I had the week before and being gone for 4 days for a little girls trip. I did finish the last week strong (albeit the first week of November) and here is what I decided to make!

Monday November 3rd: I made this lemon tarragon salmon. The verdict is still out on how I feel about this. The salmon was alright but I was expecting a lot more out of this. The seasoning stuff I made to put on it smelled delicious but it never really baked into the salmon. If I make salmon again I will definitely try to make a different recipe and maybe cook it a different way because I was just not a fan of how all of it turned out from this recipe.

Tuesday, November 4th: I decided to make hamburgers... Finally. I used to HATE hamburgers but over the past few months I have started to enjoy them so it was about time! Unfortunately, it was way to cold to grill them so I had to make them on the George Foreman. Although this is super convenient, the hamburgers just don't taste as good on it. I made some seasoning stuff to put on the burgers and I am not kidding when I say I was crying mixing it into the ground beef. I was dying and this made me nervous to eat them. However, the seasoning was very very good. But I had to eat the burgers with ranch because my mouth was dying! Definitely won't make them as spicy next time but still delicious non the less. I also did a repeat and made sweet potato fries to go with my burgers! Perfect for lunches the rest of the week!

Wednesday, November 5th: Probably one of my favorite things I made! I found this recipe for chicken lettuce wraps that sounded delicious. Again I didn't realize how spicy these were going to be! Call me naive but I didn't realize that chipotle peppers and adobo sauce were going to cause everything to be HOT! These two things were also almost impossible to find in the grocery store separately but combined together you can find them in the "Mexican" section, it may have taken me three stores to get it right but I did eventually! The recipe called for chicken, peppers, chipotle peppers, adobo sauce, and I threw mushrooms in there as well! Sautéed all of it on the stove and threw some lime juice on top at the end and it was amazing. HOT but amazing! Definitely a repeat recipe.

Thursday, November 6th: I made a snack for my weekend at ShredFest! They were banana walnut paleo muffins and they are absolutely delicious. I got the recipe from one of the girls at the gym who had made them for our trip to HOA. I threw some protein in them so they would be the perfect after WOD snack and trust me they were. I had a few leftover so I had them for snacks at school this week and they were perfect. Again another repeat. Next time however, I will buy muffin pan liners. I got creative this time and used wax paper because I refused to clean the pan out again but my life would be so much easier if I would just buy the darn things!

Friday, November 7th: I decided to make another snack of cinnamon apple chips. However, I burnt these and they were not very good that way haha. Next time I will try to be a little bit more careful with what I am doing.

So there you have it. My month of cooking experiments! I may not be a cooking expert yet but I sure had a fun month of making new things. I found a lot of great recipes that I will repeat again and some that I am not so sure I like all that much. But oh well, that comes with the territory of being a chef! I am going to keep challenging myself to make something new every week because it keeps life interesting and forces me to try new things! Let me know if you want any of the recipes I used over the month, I am more than happy to share!

Struggle #17: Individual Competitions

This past weekend I competed at the Ozark Mountain Shred-Fest competition in Springfield, MO. It was my first individual competition and let me tell you I walked into a big competition! There were some very big athletes competing at this competition. Some of the top girls in our region were there, kicking butt and taking names. It was fun to watch them move through the workouts like they were no big deal. Heavy weights for me were merely an after thought for them. Even though I know they made the workouts look easy, I know that they were working hard the whole weekend as well but boy oh boy did I realize just how good they were.

Okay, enough about me gawking over the incredible athletes I saw this weekend, time to write about me haha. Bear with me for this is going to be a lengthy post. I'm calling individual competitions a struggle, at least for now anyways. I think for individual competitions to become a strength, it's going to take me doing a few more of them in order for me to feel that way. This being my first one, I walked into it thinking I knew things but when I got there, I quickly realized I knew absolutely nothing. I feel like I was able to learn and cope fairly quickly and at the end of the weekend, I am happy with how I finished but my expectations were definitely different going into the weekend.

I walked into this competition thinking my strengths would help me overcome my weaknesses.  However, I quickly learned that my weaknesses would be clearly shown to the world and my strengths could only do so much for me. I knew going into the competition I would be slightly limited by my knee, not because it was painful (thankfully it doesn't hurt too much anymore), but because I have been hesitant to train on it so my leg muscles aren't as endurant as they used to be. I also unfortunately have had a cold for the past 5 days, so a stuffy, runny nose and a sore throat were not going to help me throughout my workouts. But before walking into this competition I told myself I couldn't let these things be excuses because everyone I am sure was facing adversity in one way or another. I just kept telling myself to go there and do my best and that's all I could do.

Although I told myself and other people these things, I still walked into the competition with high expectations for myself. The first workout was a 1 rep max clean and jerk. Because of my knee I haven't been doing squat cleans, so I knew would have to do a power clean, which is a weaker movement for me. I was able to hit a PR on my power clean and was initially happy but after seeing how all the other girls did and realizing where I could have been if I squat cleaned, I was a little upset. I shouldn't have been but being second from last in the standings upset me, even though I hit a PR.. Silly Taylor.

The second workout of the day I thought I would be able to make up some ground. It was a workout with a 16 minute time cap and I though with my endurance I would be able to do well. The workout was a 1000 meter run buy in, then 5 rounds of 25 wall balls and 4 muscle ups. The run went fine and I came in ready to go to work. The first two rounds I felt I moved well and my muscle ups were fairly consistent. The third round was alright but my muscle ups began to struggle a bit. That fourth round was awful, all of the "no squatting" limitations I have put on myself because of my knee, I could definitely feel. My quads were screaming at me! I was able to get through the 5th round but unfortunately was time caped on the last muscle up! I was relatively happy with how I did on this one because I didn't think I would be close to finishing the workout and I was one muscle up away! But after watching the last heat go and seeing a lot of the other girls crush my score, I became upset.

I realized after this workout, Even though I had said I didn't have any expectations for myself coming into the weekend, I knew deep down that I wanted to be in the last heat on Sunday. After this workout, however, I realized that this was probably not going to be a possibility. I was frustrated and upset because I felt like I had let myself down along with a few others. After a phone conversation though, I realized that it didn't matter how I finished here, it just mattered how I handled every workout and what I learned from each one of them. A few texts from my training partner made me feel better as well because I realized she was just proud of me for putting myself out there and competing. This was what I needed to realize.

The rest of the weekend was a lot better after that workout. The last workout on Saturday was 9 minute AMRAP of 30 kettlebell swings at 62#, 20 burpee box overs, and 10 squat snatches at 120#.  I added 9 repetitions to my score compared to when I tested it and after a long, tiring day, I was ecstatic with that. I was freaking out before the workout because all of the weight was very heavy for me but one of my teammates calmed me down prior to the workout and I had two others talking to me the entire workout which was great because it kept me calm!

The first workout on Sunday was in my wheelhouse. 19 minutes of work and lots of sprints with fast recovery needed! Sign me up! There were three workouts in this and although the first one wasn't my best, the next two I just decided to fly. One of my strengths is definitely recovering quickly and in this workout it was needed. Those last two workouts were my best placing of the weekend and I was really happy with them! The final workout again was going to be heavy for me, but I just had to give it everything that I had. I didn't quite finish the workout but honestly, I didn't care. I knew I left everything I had on the competition floor this weekend and I was proud of myself.

Alright so after that recap of the weekend... What did I learn?

1. I need to increase my strength. I have always known this but this is where my focus needs to be before the open and regionals this year. After HOA a teammate told me there needs to be another strong girl on the team and after this weekend I realized that this has to be a reality. Working on moving heavier weights faster is a must.
2. I am strong physically and mentally. Half of the things that we were asked to do this weekend I didn't think I would be able to do but I did them. I may have not been the most efficient but I could do them and that is huge. I need to focus on talking myself up in my head because I can do these things!
3. CrossFit Saint Louis is my home and I love my gym. Between the individuals that came and supported us and everyone that competed I had a great weekend! The love we all show one another just reinforced this awesome family we have.
4. Weaknesses will be exposed in an individual competition. Period. There is no one else there to pick you up. How you approach them and overcome them is important. After my first two workouts I looked at them differently and I am proud of how I handled them.
5. There is always something to work on. CrossFit is an ever evolving sport and that is what I love and hate about it. I know for a fact I will be back in the gym tomorrow working on my weaknesses to make them strengths,

Overall this weekend was amazing. I got to spend a lot of quality time with some of my teammates and honestly I wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way. I learned a lot about myself and I am ready to put some of these lessons in practice. (I will probably blog again about this experience because I have a lot of thoughts still swirling around in my head). I am walking away with my head held high and I can honestly say I am proud of my performance this weekend. And that is about all you can do. Happy Monday!

Struggle #16: Being Conservative

This past weekend I was lucky enough to go to Nashville with three of my closest friends! We didn't really have any reason for going besides having two days off of school and it being Halloween but who needs an excuse to go to Nashville. We left Thursday morning and got back Sunday night. While it was a long, crazy weekend, I had an absolute blast and was so happy that I went!

The Bushwacker

We went exploring all over town but our favorite place was definitely "The District" or the downtown area. On Thursday night we went on a ghost tour and explored some of the bars downtown. The tour wasn't very haunted but we met two awesome older couples traveling from California and also found the drink of choice for the weekend, The Bushwacker. This is literally one of the best drinks ever! It is like a Wendy's frosty with rum in it! Definitely used my ice cream quota for this week on them.

Friday we explored the town and got prepared for a Halloween evening in Nashville. My friends and I decided to dress up as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and let me tell you we were a huge hit! We were asked for so many pictures throughout the night, people were singing us the theme song, and my friend even got into a fight with Shredder. I had a great night and ended up being out way too late but I got up early in the morning to get after a spicy workout in the hotel gym. The gym didn't have any weights though so I had to be creative. Since someone was on the treadmill, my workout consisted of 3 rounds of: 2 minuted on the elliptical, 40 air squats, 30 V-ups, and 20 strict hand stand push ups. Afterwards I did 7 minutes of burpees, which totally stunk but I definitely was able to get my sweat on there.

 Saturday was a pretty chill day but we did walk all over town and visited some of the hot spots around the area. We walked over the pedestrian bridge and got some cool pictures and views of Nashville. However, I definitely wore the wrong boots and my feet were killing me. Our rest break before the night felt great on my feet! We made the drive back on Sunday and I was welcomed to a lot of homework and other responsibilities but it was definitely worth it. This week had been crazy but today it has finally started to slow down and let me tell you I am taking full advantage of it.

One of the reasons I chose this struggle today is because I almost talked myself out of going to Nashville with my friends. I knew that the trip was going to be expensive and I was going to come back to a lot of things to do and knowing that made me want to forego the weekend. I am a very conservative person, I try to be very frugal and I am not the best person at just dropping everything and taking chances. going to Nashville, spending a chunk of money, and going out in an unfamiliar place is very out of character for me. It makes me uncomfortable, I sometimes just enjoy living in my conservative little bubble.

This coming weekend I am headed to my first individual competition. Originally, I didn't think it was going to be that big of a competition but it seems about just like every day they announce someone new who is coming. A games veteran or an up and coming star. It has become a huge competition and for my first one I am definitely in over my head. I am excited about the opportunity but I am also terrified. Competing against these big names at my first individual competition is not conservative and for my first one, I would appreciate being a little conservative.

Nashville's Skyline! So amazing!

But hey, this is an opportunity for me. One that I have to embrace and something I need to do. I have to step up to this challenge if I ever want to make a name for myself. I am terrified but I am also ready to go. My knee may not be 100% yet but my training has been going well and I am strong mentally and physically. I am ready to prove to myself that I can do this and that taking chances isn't always a bad thing. I am ready to go to the Ozark Mountain Shred-Fest and show them who I am. I may not get first but I am going to show that I too am up and coming and ready to go. So here is to a great weekend! Wish me luck!